What kind of sorority were you in?

Megan! It’s a sorority! Megan! It’s not a whorehouse! Megan!
Oh, to be a fly on that wall…
kbye.

Don’t you hate when that happens?

Um… ok
Will the man with his pants around his ankles please return to Security and retrieve your belt?
H/T: Overheard Everywhere
kbye

Oh, how I love Milwaukee

Overheard at an Admirals game:
Hungry girl: Oooh, what’s the jumbo hot dog?
Clerk: Ummm, it’s a really big hot dog.
H/T Overheard Everywhere
kbye

so not sick with envy

Damn you, Taco Bell!
Unfortunately, I know exactly how you feel.
Hold on a second, honey. [Biological sounds] Okay, I’m back. Look, there’s no way to say this other than right out. This week together made me think things over. Will you marry me?
And I am definitely not envious of your girlfriend.
kbye.

Sounds like you wore it out

I’d have to agree with your friend…you should probably stop using it.
Well, Jim and I have sex all the time without condoms. Then I had sex with Gary and we used one, but then Scott came and we didn’t use one. Then, that same night, Thomas came over and we used one. But that’s when [...]

Don’t forget the dramamine

Good think I’m not in that family.
See? That’s why we don’t laugh in this family — you go and suffocate on your own vomit!
Kbye.

That’s not ALL we keep up there…

Some advice on why you can’t trust women?!?
Don’t trust women — they have vaginas. It’s where they keep all their secrets and lies!
kbye.

Can’t. Breathe. Side-splitting. Laughter.

I don’t think God actually pounded the posturpedic with Mary. If he had, I don’t know that Mary and Joseph would have stayed together and had more children. Don’t you think that if God himself, the creator of sex, for crying out loud, had set the quilts a-quivering with Mary, Joseph would have seemed, um, [...]

Quote of the Day

“If you could say it in words there would be no reason to paint.”
- Edward Hopper
kbye.

Quote of the Day

“True love doesn’t come to you, it has to be inside you.”
~Julia Roberts
Are you thinking what I’m thinking?
Answer yes if you have a sick mind.
kbye.